Just Say No To Sequined Sneakers.

Public bathrooms are the perfect place to  shamelessly check out other people’s shoes. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about ladies. You have a seat, do your thing, and if there are people in the stalls next to you, you take a peek at their footwear. It’s standard human behavior. I think.

Anyway, imagine my surprise when I caught a glimpse of a pair of shoes that looked very similar to these in the bathroom at work yesterday:

I’ve never tried to finish what I was doing so quickly, desperate as I was to see the person wearing such an abomination. Unfortunately I didn’t make it in time, and the offender was long gone by the time I was out of my stall.

I can tell you this though: based on the size of her feet she was over 10 years old, and that was the only plausible excuse I would have accepted.

— Maureen


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